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mucking the stall(s) and singing songs

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how much people put on a face on face book and what is presented is the best of the best and not real life–kinda like those famous Christmas letters we all get 😉 .  ok. let me ask YOU– would you really put your junk out there fore people to trample?  i am {i like to think} as honest and transparent as they come….but i have learned the very hard way that i have to be very VERY careful what i share and with whom.  and since i post this link ON Facebook, i am opening myself  up really really big here….but….its the truth……

we have been going through a really difficult time lately.  God is good and He is providing, but.  we are now on our 13th week without a regular paycheck….we really haven’t had one, but we have been blessed by some unexpected income…which is what i know God has used to provide moment by moment for us.


i have to be honest.  when things get tough and the refining process heats up, the impurities in me begin bubbling up and its not so pretty.  i have to battle lots of lies and old patterns of thinking.  well.  i also wish i could say i recognize it and jump on it before it gets me pinned down…but the reality is….i am usually a week or two later into the whole process when i begin thinking ‘what’s WRONG with me????’…..then i realize that the problem is that i lose sight of who i am and WHO’S i am….

thats when the mucking starts….i have to get out all the cr@p that i have let in and build up….it takes much shoveling and hard work….sifting out the lies from the truth….

and it is very difficult to do it alone….

and that’s where relationship comes in…..

I have 2 very wise men who speak regularly into my life.  (really there are more, because my hubby is VERY wise and speaks REGULARLY into my life) but i have heard these 2 men speak of God putting a song in your heart…that the song was put there when he first thought of you {and me}. also, from the beginning, another song starts to be sung trying to get us to follow it and sing that song.  its not God’s song.

when we forget the song god put in our heart, our friends.  our true friends will sing the song until we hear it again and can follow that tune.

i am so grateful for friends who do that.  i am grateful i have friends that trust me to do that for them when they can’t hear the song in their heart.

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