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the story of the trees, part 14

i wish i could say the words from chuck’s daughter closed the whole deal (as far as doubts go) for me and for us….it actually opened up a whole can of worms for him. he had been dealing with false accusations for several years now and this puzzled him even more….i was more at peace with this new revelation and admission from the accusing party, but i was still ‘out there’…..yes, a wall had come down, but then more presented themselves…thinking now, i realize now they didn’t ‘just’ present themselves…they just popped up after the most pressing one was dealt with.

we had not talked dates or specifics…we were just moving along in the whole ‘let’s just see where this goes’ kinda life.

spring break was approaching quickly and i wanted to take the kids camping. chuck thought it might be a great ‘look see’ to see how everything flowed with us spending time together….CAMPING….how much more real can you get????

he brought the supplies for he and harrison to sleep together and the girls and i all slept together in our HUGE, 10 person tent. we invited a friend along…jenna….a precious girl, who has become like a daughter to me.

we had a blast. it was so much work–as all camping seems to be–but the weather was perfect, and we all just had an all round great time.

the next hurdle was to take the kids to florida…..i had come to expect that we would just go every year like we always had and this year was no exception….the biggest change was that since the kids were in school, and i couldn’t really pay high season prices, i decided to take the kids out of school for a week in may…didn’t realize how hard that was going to prove to be…but i got all my i’s dotted and all my t’s crossed, so the kids had ‘permission’ to go (don’t get me started on that little issue…it really gets that bee buzzing in my bonnet)….

chuck’s thinking was 2 nights out camping was the 1st step…now, lets see how we all do with a week long, 13 hour drive (one way)….. trip…in the van–PULLING A TRAILER…..that becomes a whole new experience….we invited jenna to go with us–as accountability for the most part. we all love her and enjoy her company so much and she knew both of our hearts on what our journey was looking like….

it all went great….even to the small detail of the week we chose for vacation was the week all the school districts closed due to the swine flu ‘epidemic’ that was an epic fail ;)…it all went great….until….chuck brought along his work and buried himself in it.

i would not have EVER had a problem with that…if he had just told me he had to work. one other little detail he forgot to mention….he hates–and i mean {with capital letters} HATES sand. hehe….little detail. when you have 7 kids in and out of the house at the beach, you get sand….he was not a happy camper…he was cleaning up after them and sweeping non stop and was just generally a grouch…..(I just read this all to chuck….he said that when there was enough sand in the kitchen alone to build a sand castle, it is time to sweep–i tend to disagree :))

i was thinking oh, my….i need to put an end to this {relationship} ┬áRIGHT NOW…..we both kinda fell into our old patterns of dealing with conflict and pain and we were a mess….jenna was so sweet…i was crying on the beach that i just didn’t know what to do with him…..she looked at me and said…ginny…he hates the sand…that’s his issue…he knew where he was driving…he didn’t have to choose that….

i realized in that moment that i could not control his attitude or actions and that they were no reflection on me…..and a bit later, i told him so :D……it took another day, but we finally got it worked out….AND, i cannot put it all here, but the difference in how he handled the conflict versus what i had always experienced before was the deal maker…..he was so humble in his response to me….i saw it as how a man is to lead a woman…his actions brought me to repentance for my anger toward him…..it was honestly a beautiful thing….even tho it was half way through the week….oh, well…it was not lost or wasted…god showed both of us in that week what life could look like walking in humility and repentance….and grace.

i am hoping to post about the most amazing experience of our wedding day in the next day or two….our anniversary is tomorrow 7.24.09. what a journey it has been……

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