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the story of the trees, part 6

i have to admit i was a little excited about going to lunch with chuck and arianne. i would get to see him in his family setting and get a good read on him. HA. God had a whole ‘nother plan up his sleeve.

chuck told me when the next time he would have his daughter with him would be and asked if i would join them for lunch after church. sure….what have i got to lose.

i go to church on this sunday, all ready for lunch. my sponsor from cr was not too excited about my going to lunch with them. she gave me all the ‘rules’ of what to do and not to do. i kinda laughed about it inside, but was truly grateful to have someone there to care and keep me accountable. honestly. that was what i wanted more than anything…others to be in my life to the point i could share things like this with.

one of the things she told me was to go in my own car. NOT to get in the car with them. i thought that a little extreme, but wanted to stay under authority. church was over and we were heading out of the building. i was just a tad bit nervous. we were walking out to the parking lot and he asked if i wanted to join them in his truck. i said no, i would go in my own {15 passenger} van ;). i told him if he would just tell me where to go, i would meet them there. he proceeded to give me directions: turn right out of the parking lot–go to the highway and turn right on the service road, blah, blah….I interrupted him and asked…can you just tell me where we are going and i will find it. he said sure, we are going to outback steak house.

the blood either rushed completely out of my head or it all went straight to my head…or both….my head was swimming. i could NOT believe what i just heard. i was shaking. i got in the van (and its a good thing i was in there by myself, because i had a temper tantrum with god) and started crying out (read: yelling) at god. WHAT are you doing? WHY are you doing this? I’m not ready for this…god, WHY??????? He asked gently, ‘ginny, how long did i ask you to wait for kevin?’ I said, sobbing, ‘a year’. he asked ‘ ginny, what’s tomorrow?’….it was a year to the day since kevin had moved out and said he was never coming back.

wow.

i was in a complete fog during this lunch. i had taken my camera to offer to take pictures of chuck and his daughter, but she didn’t want them. i was kinda glad, because no telling what those would have turned out to be….

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