one of my jobs is as a photographer. i am, today, not sure where i am going with this gift god has given me or what i am to do with it….BUT it was one of my ‘part-time’ jobs.
i got a call to do a wedding. as i talked to the bride, i got so excited. it was going to be a destination wedding. the destination: New Mexico. The date? in August. NOW…for some background to this. I grew up part time in New Mexico. I LOVE New Mexico. I had tried to take my family there before and they JUST HATED it. HATED it. So…I had to give it up…we were ‘beach’ people….which I am in LOVE with both! one of my dreams was to take my kids to New Mexico in August (when it is blistering hot here in North Texas)….there is something about it, to me, to have those cool temps and low humidity at the peak of the heat in Texas.
well, to NOT see the hand of God in this one, would have meant i was blind :). we also loved, loved LOVED our family vacations to the beach near destin, fl. with my in-laws and we were really afraid we were going to have to give those up due to the divorce. i had been blessed with enough work and a great deal on a condo (we won’t mention fitting too many children in one bedroom to the owners) that we were able to go to fl for TWO WEEKS…this had also been a dream of mine for a long time, to go for 2 weeks. God was showing me His hand of provision and blessing in all of this.
it meant that we were going to be gone for 3 weeks–from the middle of July thru the first week in august, just in time to get the kids ready for school.
well….with the wedding came the engagement pictures and the bridal sitting. the bridal sitting was to be done the weekend of father’s day. i had everything ready and was waiting for the bride to arrive at my house. at the same time, chuck was wrapping things up at my house…he didn’t like being there when no one was home–he seemed so skittish with all of this….not being at my house alone (and he went to GREAT lengths to make sure someone was with him at ALLLLLL times) and not being at my house when i wasn’t there.
I guess I just didn’t understand the depth of his pain…..
i was sitting outside gathering all my things in the van for the shoot and he was putting things on his trailer. we talked for the first time…by ourselves…alone that day. i don’t really remember too much what we talked about, but i do remember telling him how much god had done and was doing in my heart and that i was learning to be affectionate with my kids due to abuse issues on my part. (you can read more about that here)
he told me about his visitation arrangements with his daughter and that he had to have supervised visits with her. he asked if i would like to come along on one of his sundays with her to get to know her better…..ha…i saw an opening to be able to talk to HER…..’sure’, of course i said yes.